Monday Ramble

For most of last month, I focused on a single story. Hoping I suppose, to avoid the dreaded falling out of love with the story. Which has happened before. I’ve started stories, and then stopped. They’re good, I like them. I don’t love them.

Sometimes I stop because I’m worried about how the story will be perceived once it’s out in the world. Sure, I like it. My beta readers might like it, hell an editor might like it - but will the public? What about Twitter, what about cancel culture? What if I’ve got something wrong and someone, somewhere finds it offensive?

When so much of the conversation is dominated by the American narrative, it can be scary to raise your head above the parapet and say, “that’s not my perspective, nor my experience.” 

More often that not, when people do write their own experience, Americans shout them down. “Own Voices,” has become a double edged sword. Social media would like you to write in your own voice, from your own experiences, but only if it stays in the line of the American experience. 

And how America deals with race, is….Well, it’s a choice. It’s not healthy choice either. Then again, I’m not American. I’m British. I can only view what’s going on from the outside in. 

So, I’ve decided. I’m not going to let fear win. I’m not going to allow strangers to gate keep my writing, my stories, my experiences. 

Back on topic, though, I’m going back to writing on multiple projects. I have a cute, small notebook in which I write the day and which projects I’ve worked on so I can see which projects are getting the most attention and which needs to be worked on more. 

Finding what works for you in a journey. I’ve learned that waiting until the afternoon to start writing works for me. I know people who would be itching to start if they waited as long as I do. For me, the very idea of getting up before 8am to write sends a shiver down my spine. I am, and never have been, an early bird. I rolled out of bed twenty minutes before school, slowly got dressed, whined that I didn’t have enough time to have breakfast and sat in the back of my mum’s car, whishing that I was still in bed.

In using this blog, I’m going to share my rambling thoughts. My arguments with my stories, and my characters. I’m going to share how my process works by being honest on the good and bad days.

I’m going to treat this blog as though it was my diary. Maybe no one will read this, and that’s OK. Maybe someone will, and they’ll find it helpful or maybe they’ll scoff and find it a joke.

I don’t mind. Because this is my writing journey. This is how I’m stumbling, half asleep and wishing I was back in my nice warm bed as I continue to grow into being a self published author. 

In using this blog, I’m going to share my rambling thoughts. My arguments with my stories, and my characters. I’m going to share how my process works by being honest on the good and bad days.

I’m going to treat this blog as though it was my diary. Maybe no one will read this, and that’s OK. Maybe someone will, and they’ll find it helpful or maybe they’ll scoff and find it a joke.

I don’t mind. Because this is my writing journey. This is how I’m stumbling, half asleep and wishing I was back in my nice warm bed as I continue to grow into being a self published author. 

So, what have I been working on today? Well, I’m loosely working on a short story collection. The stories are stand alone, but it has to recurring characters. I’m not sure if I’ll keep it something for me to share with my closest friends from time to time, or something I’m going to public. Right now I’m enjoying the way the words flow. The fact that I’m not putting any pressure onto myself. There’s no deadline, neither character has a description, that’s for the reader to fill in. So there’s no stress over stereotypes or making sure I have enough black characters. It’s so nice to write without feeling I have a dozen eyes peering over my shoulder. Even though I’m not a popular writer. Even though I haven’t sold many books. The fear of cancel culture is real. I see it myself, and my fellow writers. 

And I’m rambling again, which is my cue, I believe to go. Until tomorrow, friends.

Zelena.